RIP, Bill Buchanan

I didn’t know Bill Buchanan for too many years, but I’m sure going to miss him.

 He died Thursday night after a six-year battle against cancer.

Dunreith and Maureen, Bill’s wife and life companion of many years, are  close friends. they have an intimacy that has its genesis in large part in their shared intelligence, homespun strength, and love of walking.

Bill was always generous and kind to us. In fact, a relatively high percentage of our indoor furniture has come from Buchanan/Ruder hand-me-downs, always delivered with a smile by Bill and at least one of the boys in the family’s large and unquestionably misnamed mini-van.

He wasn’t just generous; he had a sense of occasion, too.

I always loved being a guest at their summer parties—took particular pride in his juicy hamburgers covered with exotic sauces-and in the double dates we took with Bill and Maureen for sushi on New Year’s Eve and for Thai food on Ridge.

Handsome with brown hair,  a thick mustache and a firm handshake, Bill had a deliciously dry and quick sense of humor and exuded a steady confidence and easy comfort in his own skin.  I always relished the times we spent together in the stand  at Aidan and Aaron’s lacrosse game.

It was during one of these games, and after, I believe, he had stuck up for his hometown by wagering a six-pack that his beloved and often beleaguered Cavs would take down my Celtics-he was gallant about paying up when they lost-that Bill reminded me of an important lesson.

I was talking about an opposing team that, in my opinion, ETHS should have beaten.

“Never say should in sports,” Bill said in essence.  “What matters is what you do.”

He was right, and not just in sports.

One of the many admirable things about Bill is that he lived the way he talked.

The cancer got him in the end, but not after he had fought it  with guts and without complaint.  Bill battled it long and hard for years and even licked it for a while.

He wasn’t a martyr, either.  He accepted our offers of help, bagels, Mrs. May’s and the soup we got for him at different times, joined us for short visits we shared after delivering the goods, and asked me to go with Dunreith and pick up their car from the hospital.

In so doing, he gave us a profound gift.

Bill also lived out of a love that started with his family.  He and Maureen struggled at moments, as all honest couples I know do, and they never stopped working at their relationship, and, from what I saw, they did awfully well.  Bill loved and liked his boys, too-something which is not always the case between fathers and sons-and took  great pride in their growth, development and accomplishments.

He also loved the work he did, the people he did it with, the friends and family he grew up with, who formed him and who gathered to spend what we all knew was some of the last minutes they would share with their soon to be fallen friend.

He loved  the bike rides he took, the men’s group to which he belonged and the neighborhood in which he lived.

In short, Bill didn’t dwell on shoulds, he did.

He lived close to his heart, and with integrity and courage. I am a better person, husband and father for knowing, spending time with and learning from him.

The final weeks were extremely  tough, and I feel some relief amidst all the sadness that his suffering mercifully has ended.

I’ll miss Bill when Dunreith and I walk by the house on our way to Whole Foods, when we sit in the stands at Aidan’s lacrosse games in the spring and when we bump into Maureen gardening in the yard.

I’ll feel the lump in my throat and my eyes water.

And then I’ll remember how he lived and I’ll straighten my back and keep going, as he did.

Thank you, Bill.  Thank you, friend.  I’m glad you are at peace.

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4 responses to “RIP, Bill Buchanan

  1. I haven’t been in touch with Maureen and Bill (except an occasional card) for over ten years, but I want to say that Bill was an exceptionally good friend to me when I needed it most and a “salt of the earth” human being. What a sad loss. Maureen, my heart goes out to you.

  2. Furniture and a philosophy to live by, one tangible, the other an anthem, both gifts from your friend Bill. May he RIP.

    • jeffkellylowenstein3

      Thanks, PT, for your comments. Hope all is well with you. Italy has been truly mind-blowing, and I look forward to debriefing when I return. You have definitely been in the room and in my conversations on many occasions during the past seven days.

      Love,

      Jeff

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