Marty’s Funeral.

Aidan and Colin after hitting golf balls in Marty's memory at the Country Club of Wilbraham.

Joseph Campbell said there are three great moments in a person’s life: birth, marriage, and funeral.

We held the funeral for my father-in-law Martin Kelly today, and if greatness is measured in the depth of feeling a death sparks in others, Marty’s more than fit the criteria.

Friends and family from all different stages of Marty’s life poured into Wilbraham Funeral Home to admire the pictures the family had assembled, walk by his remains, which were placed in the corner near a cross, a folded American flag and a picture of him during her service in the army, and pay their respects to the family of a man they loved.

Friends from homeroom at Classical High School.  Business partners from his stint at A.R. Reid.  Fellow officials from the Massachusetts Golf Association.  His brother Dick and his sister Ginna, the last of the five Kelly siblings born to William Ayres and Virginia Mitchell Kelly.

And, of course, the golf buddies.

Golf was Marty’s singular passion outside of friends and family.  He spent countless hours refining his game on the left side of the driving range at the Country Club of Wilbraham, and his efforts were rewarded with both a reputation as a quality player and an even better guy.

The people in the line that started near one of the four photo panels, around the corner with the urn, by the other panels, past the next room where more golfing photos were arrayed around a wooden table, and continued out the door were not only connected to Marty, though.

Josh’s childhood friends, fraternity brothers from college and work colleagues showed up in force.  So did Shaun’s fellow officers from the Chicopee Police Department.  Cathy Mackenzie took a day off from work, Stephanie Pasternak made her way in from Cummington, and Sherri Krassin came in from Wilbraham and Monson Academy.

The line was so long that apparently some people did not make it inside during the single hour that was available for visitation before the ceremony began.

It was not just the volume of people that moved me, as impressive at that was.  Rather it was the people’s words and the emotion in their eyes as they spoke.

“One of a kind.” “Just a great guy.” “A fixture at the club.” “We had so much fun together.”

And on and on and on.

The ceremony was brief.  Father Serrano and a nun offered some words of benediction and prayer, then I read a slightly revised version of the blog post I wrote about Marty on Saturday.

Then it was over.

More visiting followed and then we went to the Country Club of Wilbraham, site of hundreds of thousands of drives and putts and thousands of games during the three decades he belonged there. Overall, the mood was festive and celebratory, even as sadness tinged the air.   The club’s flag flew at half-mast in honor of Marty.

Aidan hit on the idea of hitting some drives in honor of Par. He and the other male grandchildren-Dylan, Colin and Jacob-got their clubs together, went to the left side of the driving range and, as their grandfather had done so many times before, drove the ball down the fairway in pursuit of a perfect drive and a continuation of the game that had gotten Marty in the guts as a young man and refused to let go.

Old friend Tommy Henshon, a Brighton boy who came up hard but has made good as a real estate developer, stopped by to give the youngsters a few tips.

The time moved on, as it always does, and, eventually, people started to leave.

By 2:00, we were the last ones there, with Dunreith’s cousin Pam.   We headed back to Helen’s house, where we started to unwind, sit around for hours, talk about what we had seen and heard, open cards, admire the flowers people had given, and feel gratitude for all the support people had shown us.

Death is rarely easy.   Tomorrow’s burial at the Veteran’s Cemetery in Agawan is sure to be difficult, too.

But the love people showed in so many ways certainly helped cushion the blow.

And for that we are grateful.


6 responses to “Marty’s Funeral.

  1. “Golf is a way of life,” a quote from my Great Uncle Eddie Crane (long time Mayor of Cambridge, Mass). In fact, there are not a few golfers who are convinced there will be plenty of the game in heaven. So, when Uncle Eddie died years ago, my cousins made sure he was buried with one of his favorite clubs – I believe they were thinking about a particular shot he had trouble with at Fresh Pond golf course in Cambridge, and now he has all that time to perfect it. Surely we don’t know much about heaven (more has been written about hell, no?), an why not an idyllic 18 along that shore? If so, no doubt Marty will be taking a hack at it, while keeping an eye on his beloved family.

    Peace to you and yours Jeff,


    • jeffkellylowenstein3

      Thanks, Jack, for this helpful perspective. I love the image of Eddie being buried with his favorite club and can say that many folks said yesterday that Marty had just moved on to another course.

      Regards to you and your family.


  2. David Russell

    To this outsider it seems: the powerful outpouring does not reverse the death, but it attempts to match the power and impact of the life. The vast assemblage of people Marty touched demonstrated who he was and how he will not be forgotten. I’m glad you read your post; carefully crafted words give voice to what is more inchoate in others, and at one of the three deepest mileposts of life–as you’ve written– when so much is churning inside, to speak the meaning helps fill in the void, give order to the turbulence, and sooth the pain. I send my thoughts and love to you and your family. Dave

    • jeffkellylowenstein3

      Thanks, Dave, again, for your generous, kind and articulate words. They are a balm during a hard time.



  3. Pingback: Help Jeff Kelly Lowenstein Ride for the Dart Society

  4. Pingback: Dart Society » Blog Archive » Help Jeff Kelly Lowenstein Ride for the Dart Society

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s